I have been assimilated. Ow.

Just a short one today I think. My frame of reference for with the port going in yesterday was the twilight sleep I got for the colonoscopy and having my wisdom teeth taken out ages ago. I figured I'd be conked out for the procedure and then dopey for the afternoon with a little bump and some stitches where it went it. Not so. :(

When I woke up I found a pretty big incision glued over with some new kind of liquid suture. Nearby was the bump of the port (here is a link to the one I got... pretty fancy!) and the whole area was tight as a drum. To give you a better picture, imagine your chest muscles as quadrants on a compass. My whole northeast is hurting. On a map of the world, all of Europe and Asia is where I'm talking about.

At the hospital, they gave me two nice rounds of painkiller that had me feeling pretty good. I finally got something to eat at half past four (we'd gone in before nine thirty and I hadn't eaten since that same hour the night before). Graham crackers and a Dixie cup of cranberry juice never tasted so goo. I also got a little liquid painkiller to tide me over until we got my script filled for the stuff I could take at home.

Trouble was I lost all of that a fraction of the way back. Jody's little truck is very softly sprung and has such a short wheelbase that anything faster than 40mph or so was rocking me like a little boat in a big storm. My apologies to any beltway commuters who may have caught a glimpse of me on the phone with my friend Raaaaaalph.

I was between wretching and crying the rest of the way home but once we got stopped and I got some fresh air, my stomach wasn't a problem. My appetite came right back and my folks brought me some Feel Good Noodles. I don't know why, but that was all I wanted to eat last night. My left solar plexus though, that was killing me. I felt like I'd been punched with a bowling ball-sized fist. Still do actually. While Jody got the painkillers for me I tried to ice it down, numb it, and just cry to get past it all. The swelling really hurt and the painkillers took time to kick in.

They eventually did though I'd estimate they're only cutting it down by about half. Overnight I dropped two more rounds on schedule and I'm hoping today goes well. I got a little chilled and woke up stiff this morning but Jody, whom I do not deserve, got our heating pad for me to help warmly loosen things up. I'm typing this now and planning to call Dr. Grasso today for any advice on stretching/working the muscles to make sure I neither hurt myself nor atrophy.

Here I am with my trademark fakey grin (tm) before I knew what was actually going to happen. I was soooo naive... but that is the last IV needle in my arm for a long time.