We are what we eat

And with that in mind, be sure to avoid shrimp and boneless chicken. Also try not to fill up on bologna.

Ba da bing... I'm here all week. ;)

A few days of some seriously tiring experiences and a good amount of acute pain have brought this old adage back to mind this morning. As always I do not want to gross anyone out but I do need to put a lot of emphasis on getting much more water and real fiber into my diet. They're going to be the only things that really resolve the issue I've been having.

Not to say that things are not working. Au contraire, they're working well and I've been enjoying the ability to get out and about despite the impending resumption of chemotherapy this week. (I did manage to negotiate Wednesdays instead of Mondays so I won't have to miss my regular dinner out with my old highschool pals.)

That was last night, in fact, and I did not chose very wisely in what I had for dinner. Like most realizations, this one came upon me rather like a light being turned on; I've slipped back into eating very much the same poorly selected diet I've been eating for most of my adult life. Last night it was half a dozen buffalo wings, four mini cheeseburgers, a shot-glass sized carrot cake, and three glasses of iced tea (still not doing sodas and not really missing them). This after rather mindlessly snacking on probably twenty cups of kettle popcorn in the afternoon and only a glass of water to wash it down. Before that was three slices of take out chicken quesadilla, chips, a blob of guacamole and sour cream, and maybe a quarter cup of rather limp salsa... and nothing to drink. I honestly cannot remember drinking anything at all. Breakfast was a bag of crap from McDonalds I remember swearing off after seeing Super Size Me a year ago. Crap in this context is a Sausage McMuffin with egg and cheese, the ubiquitous hashbrowns, and a large decaf coffee (along with avoiding sodas, I have been pretty good about limiting my caffeine to iced tea).

I politely smirk when I hear my fit friends and acquaintances refer to meals as "fuel" and, in my head, I kinda giggle thinking, "Isn't that a little extreme?" But the analogy really is quite accurate as my tailpipe is going to show me today. You'd think that several days of tiring pain and irritation would wake me up to what a few friends and Dr. Grasso himself have been telling me...

Another part of the real solution for me is going to be losing the fat I'm still carrying around. Those of you whom have seen how thin I have become have been congratulatory and laughed with me that this isn't the diet plan I recommend. Since I started actually trying to get more exercise and make better meal choices waaaay back in January of 2007, I have lost right around 60 lbs. But I'm still shaped like a gourd and, again trying to avoid being graphic, where I'm still stored up for winter is all over the area that's been under the knife. This needs to change or just eating better is not going to cut it.

The ready made excuse goes back into my port tomorrow morning and it will be all too easy to let the chemo win. I will really have to try hard. Not having my old job assignment to look forward too, the ongoing long-term disability benefits gauntlet*, and the pain are already conspiring against me but it's only me that can punch through it. Yes, the light at the end is getting brighter, but for the moment I'm still in the tunnel. So again I'm asking for your support to make it out. :]

- Sco


* As for the benefits obstacle course, I've received some strange pieces of mail over the weekend that a) make no sense and b) alluded to a change in my health insurance coverage by hiding one sentence in seven pages of "certificate" statement.

The first one was a pair letters from the social security claims contractor congratulating me on a benefits award from Social Security (that I was told from the get go I would not get). I should be receiving a check and an official award letter from the SSA shortly. Blah blah blah. The only trouble with these two letters was it was I who told them I'd received a check and an award letter from SSA two weeks ago. I've been itching to fire these people since the end of March after a month of their incessant probing and far too many identity-risking edicts. People whom are truly sick or incapacitated must be getting steamrolled by these guys.

The second one was literally a certificate for me to provide to a new healthcare provider explaining my HIPAA rights (which the state of Maryland revokes with its own HIPAA-like law). Huh? I can't be turned down, etc, etc, if I applied in most states I have 30 days, if DC or Virginia I have 31 days, yadda, yadda, I only have 63 days to apply if I quit, COBRA this, FMLA that, you have receied this certificate because our records indicate your coverage with Kaiser has been terminated. What was that? Believe me, I'm on the horn before rush hour dies down this morning.