Sunday, February 17, 2008

the captain has turned on the fasten seatbelt signs...

Okay fine, I can wait forever but please, PLEASE get me some relief from The Bubblies. I do not know what it is this round, but nothing is helping. By Sunday I'm usually fine, but not this time.

I want to barf, but it's just not happening. I can belch now and then for a few minutes of peace, but they build right back up again. It's not as bad as when I was pumping dilaudid into myself in the hospital, but it is like the absolute worst case of airsickness ever. As if I've been flying in turbulence for a week.

It may all be added stress.

Despite hearing my long-term disability claim has been approved, I haven't heard anything on how/when I might get back to work. This is nothing though.

I heard that an old friend of mine is entering the arena to battle cancer. I want to rage but all I can do is cry that someone else I know and love has to go through this crap. I can't kid myself out of it and I just want to scream THIS IS NOT FAIR! He's hardly been married and has a little boy with his new bride. I know and I feel this is another test and that people are watching, but I am so angry. It's not right! NONE OF THIS IS! It's no excuse, but I just haven't got the strength. If I did, I wouldn't know what I'd do. I feel nothing but helpless. :(

4 comments:

tinkknitz said...

Hurray on the Disability, I know that's a load off. Tried peppermint for the bubblies? Ask a Pharmacist for "peppermint water" and take about 15cc. Not really tasty but effective. Can't get it? Peppermint gum? Gum helped me the one day they wanted me to go without my Anzemet before chemo and I felt that airsick/seasick thing all day and puked.

Damn them.

Anzemet every day after that. Did you ever ask you Docs about it?

Anonymous said...

You have every right to be angry. Now what are you going to do?

"Sco Got A Bug.......and then he squarshed it."

(sco got a bug but the bug doesn't have sco)

John said...

I did look into Anzemet, but that's for nausea and not stomach acid/reflux. The GERD on crack is what's getting me... to that end I tried crushing one of my Protonix (acid inhibitor) pills this morning after reading they are "extended release" pills. That's usually code for "absorbed way down low" so I'm trying to accelerate the absorbtion and see if it helps. Of course, the manufacturer also says the stuff can take eight weeks to show signs of improvement. :P


As for being angry and having a right to be, I agree. And yes, the important part is what do I do in response to it. Thank you for the reminder. ;)

tinkknitz said...

Ahhhh. I misunderstood when you said you *wanted* to barf. Don't have any experience or sage advice on this one for you buddy :(

Got any spare legs?

I know. Go fish.