Okay fine, I can wait forever but please, PLEASE get me some relief from The Bubblies. I do not know what it is this round, but nothing is helping. By Sunday I'm usually fine, but not this time.
I want to barf, but it's just not happening. I can belch now and then for a few minutes of peace, but they build right back up again. It's not as bad as when I was pumping dilaudid into myself in the hospital, but it is like the absolute worst case of airsickness ever. As if I've been flying in turbulence for a week.
It may all be added stress.
Despite hearing my long-term disability claim has been approved, I haven't heard anything on how/when I might get back to work. This is nothing though.
I heard that an old friend of mine is entering the arena to battle cancer. I want to rage but all I can do is cry that someone else I know and love has to go through this crap. I can't kid myself out of it and I just want to scream THIS IS NOT FAIR! He's hardly been married and has a little boy with his new bride. I know and I feel this is another test and that people are watching, but I am so angry. It's not right! NONE OF THIS IS! It's no excuse, but I just haven't got the strength. If I did, I wouldn't know what I'd do. I feel nothing but helpless. :(