Thursday, May 21, 2009

fingers crossed

A quick post to refresh the blog before work today.

Yesterday I went in for a CT scan. I chose to go back to the same imaging facility up at St. Joe's in Towson so I'd have two in a row from the same place. This is me plotting/planning ahead for the news that, sorry Mr. Scofield, but you still have cancer.

I want to say, "eh," but it just makes sense to think this way. it sounds hopeless i know, but the pragmatist in me takes over. I'm happy having a plan instead of just hoping... but that doesn't mean I have no hope. ;)

If I'm still sick, the second set of images from the same lab will give me something useful to show the doctors at Franklin Square. Thinking ahead, that will give them something to compare to in reconsidering me for Cyberknife. If I am still sick, perhaps now the lesions are small enough for them to think they have a stab at them. Bad pun intended.

And if not, I've got all the forms for the NIH study so I'm in position to make a move on that front too.

I know the better analogy is chess, but I don't play chess. Instead, I picture it like finding a slower car ahead but not really having a place to pass for a few corners. I know what I've got and I have a very good idea of what lays ahead. I reel that car in close enough to let him know I want by. There's no pressure; I don't have to shovel him through every corner. It's time to relax a little even in a technical section... and when I get a chance to pass, I'm right where I should be to make it happen. Meanwhile, check the flags, hit the marks, and tap out a little thank you with my fingertips as Patience pays off.

To close today, I'd like to ask anyone reading to pray for Jody today and over the next little while. She's been painted into a corner at work and struggling to meet some deadlines that are neither reasonable nor flexible. It's unfair and she's killing herself to do the best she can but missing the date seems inevitable; the work that needs to be finished won't be done on time and there are technical problems conspiring to further seal the bum deal. She takes a tremendous amount of pride in her work so not finishing is bad enough. Unreasonable customers and management who cannot bend are not helping in the least.


Anonymous said...

We will continue to pray for you AND Jody! :)

Ryan said...

Good luck! Having your CTs done at the same place is always a good idea. The radiologists are very good at looking at two CTs side by side and finding all sorts of minute differences. If possible, get the films or CDs from your old ones and drop them off at the radiology place you're having them done at. The more information they have at hand the better.

Anonymous said...

John...Good luck with the next chapter my friend. I hope that Jody's work situation played-out in a reasonable way:

She takes a tremendous amount of pride in her work so not finishing is bad enough. Unreasonable customers and management who cannot bend are not helping in the least.

If her company will not be reasonable, she should consider joining mine..I'd be honored to present her resume (I think she's currently with one of our competitors)...and may even be able to make a match on my own project (where our customers are reasonable and management is quite human and flexible). On of my friends at work has a little girl going through Chemo and the company has been GREAT:

At any rate, we'd love to get together or just generally be more there to support you guys in person sometime...we're looking forward to when you are better and I do hope that the options you mentioned (cyberknife, NIH etc.) make for an optimistic next phase.

Love from all of us,

The Jarboe Family