Wednesday, September 2, 2009

ice cream

No, this won't be one of those posts where I lament now having to avoid dairy. I'd loooove some ice cream and I've made noises about contacting Ben & Jerry's in hopes of some really good lactose-free concoction of theirs. No, this is a philosophical post; about an analogy I feel is true.

When you answer your door and find a Jehovah's Witness waiting for you, what do you do? I can imagine you'd do what I've done a few dozen times with varying degrees of polite rejection. I'm not interested.

Well, week before last I hushed the dogs as best I could and stepped outside to politely turn another one away. I wasn't really in the mood to debate Racism in our country nor to agree or disagree on what God might think of such pettiness. But I indulged the fellow briefly, politely accepted the literature, and made it clear I am secure in my faith figuring shooing a fly away would be less messy than squashing it.

I think he was intrigued because he dropped by and spooked Jody when she was home. I hadn't told her about the visit because, well, I figured I'd never see the guy again. He caught me awake the other afternoon on a repeat visit which, I admit, kinda annoyed me. As I went to the door I became determined to, politely, tell the guy, "no, thank you," and please don't come again. We may not be perfect in this house, but we're not looking to change up our ice cream toppings either.

Again it was the Racism topic and what the Kingdom of God was going to do about it and why God would cause me to suffer with cancer. Now he was making it personal though I'm sure he meant no offense. I stood my ground same as you can read back through this blog and pointedly insisted it's not my will be done, but Gods. If he was going to try pointing at scripture, then I was going to point it right back at him.

Was I interested in more literature? No, thank you. How about a Bible study exploring why there is suffering in the world. No, I'm pretty comfortable with the reasons for suffering and my responsibilities when faced with it. Here is where I interrupted and explained I'm just not looking for anything new for my ice cream.

You see, when we visit the ice cream shop, we are offered all manner of flavors and toppings which are a lot like churches and fellowship. As long as there is ice cream in the dish to start with, we're all having, "ice cream," which is to say we're all reading the same Bible and worshipping the same God. Now some churches go with the plain vanilla, liturgical, ordered, etc. Some go only just so far and have chocolate or strawberry, singing melodic hymns that rhyme in English instead of funky-metered Latin translated into nerdy white guy rap. And some churches whoop it up with bananas and cherries and stuff like electric guitars and music videos and, what I can only best describe as, cheerleaders.

Meanwhile, as long as it's the Bible being taught from the pulpit there is no worry about frozen yogurt or tofu or Frostee frozen food products. What we put on top, the style of worship we each choose in our churches, does not matter.

And that's where Mr. Jehovah's Witness and I could agree. No amount of added literature in his attache was necessary because I've got my Bible. He is free to put pineapple and caramel sauce on his ice cream... as long as he's got ice cream in his dish.

Man o man could I go for some Chubby Hubby right about now. ;)


Ryan said...

Have ever tried Cuties? I haven't, but my crazy vegan sister swears they're amazing. It might be worth a shot. (no obscure religious analogy here)

Ryan said...

p.s. I ignored your advice and had a milk shake today, though I am on an off week with Xeloda. It was a bad idea. I won't make that mistake again.

Lynn said...

So my doorbell rang about an hour after I got home from church on Sunday. I didn't get 2 words in before one of the ladies told me about the awful things going on in the world and read me a scripture passage that was "also in your bible" and I just kind of nodded at most of her questions because she was talking so fast I couldn't respond. Our meeting concluded with her leaving me a pamphlet telling me that I could read more because again, the teachings were based on my bible.

My neighbor is a Jehovah's Witness so I try to be polite. I like my neighbor.

I also like Chunky Monkey. I only have fruit bars here. Definitely not satisfying the way ice cream is.

Jana G said...

Hey John - I love your analogy here and give you an AMEN. Being Jewish among many door-knocking Christians is sometimes rough and the Muzzuzah on the door sometimes feels like an invitation rather than a declaration of my beliefs.

I'll continue to remain polite and non-engaging. I have found its the best way to show that I am not interested. If you engage just once, they will return (as you found).

That said, start me off with some New York Super Fudge Chunk or Moose Tracks and just pile on the toppings!