As you may imagine, I feel lousy thus the lame 60's Batman show title. I have to honestly admit that today has been okay so far but I got some pretty hard news to swallow; I will not be getting my job back.
No, despite the hoops I was jumping with the company and the long-term benefits insurance and the seriously invasive Social Security benefits claim "service," my contract was awarded to another team yesterday. I got the news this morning. Since my company isn't part of the team that won, I'm officially out of my job. I need to get well enough to go clean out my desk sometime soon.
I'm still employed... for the remaining whatever number of weeks my long term insurance was limited to... but I won't get to go back to my assignment. That one goal keeping me moving is now gone. This is just the icing on the poop cake I've been served. If it's not clear, I am not happy right now. Not in the least.
Here at home though I was able to clean and change the incision both Sunday and Monday evenings without any help. Knock on wood I've won more of the fights for control than lost and made it to the bathroom on time; no major disasters, thank you. It has dawned on me I may be potty-training all over again like when I was a little baby. It's not like it's a skill we are taught or even something babies can learn except by doing it. Gotta hold it. I think I'm just learning that all over again.
I'm trying to be funny about it but in all seriousness this whole thing is making me feel like less and less of a man every day. This crap just keeps pecking at me. :(